Monday, November 21, 2005

No Diploma Required


Ever wonder how some people survive to adulthood? It seems that modern society strives to keep stupid people alive to fill jobs that smart people refuse to fill. Are we just shooting ourselves in the foot by not killing these people early in life.

This morning, I went to the Burger King here in the hospital to get a cup of coffee. I could tell by the slack-jawed, wide-eyed look on the chick's face that she was normally working at the fry station. It took her almost five minutes to take the the first guy's order, and I'm not so sure that it was done that well by the confused look in her eyes.

"Can I take your order, sir?"

"A large coffee please."

"O.K. Is that for here, or to go?"

"Uhhh....Does it matter? Are you going to put it in a bag, or something?"

"There is a to-go button, and a dine-in button. One has to be pressed before I can go on."

"Oh. OK then, make it for here."

She reaches over to grab an empty cup, and puts it on a tray. After a few, long, painfully sad minutes she has entered my order in all its complexity into the cash register.

"That'll be 75 cents."

Seeing a perfect opportunity to give her an IQ test, I hand her $1, 2 quarters, 2 dimes, and a nickel. She stared into her open hand for a full minute, not comprehending what she was given. Once she was convinced that she had added all the money up, she dutifully put each into its correct receptacle in the drawer. She then typed in the amount that she was given, and hit the button. Like a robot, she looked up at the magic math answer machine. Then she pulled out the same 1$ bill I had just given her and handed it back to me with a well practiced smile.

"Have a nice day sir."

"You too." I grabbed my cup and turned to go.

"Sir! You forgot your tray."

"That's alright, I don't need a tray. I decided to drink it at my desk."

"But...But...Can you put it over there for me?" She pointed at the little stack of used trays on top of the trash can. "We can't reuse trays."

Laughing outloud, I picked up the tray in front of her. The same tray that had not touched human hands other than hers, and placed it on the stack, after emptying the paper liner into the trash of course.

Sometimes I think our species is doomed.

8 comments:

Sparkling said...

We have one of those living working at the deli counter in our local Sainsbury's supermarket.

This weekend he maneged to spend 10 very long minutes totally messing up our order of salami.

I have been assured their staff is fully trained, but I guess the odd one can slip through the net. How else would people like that hold down a job?

Bottle Rocket Fire Alarm said...

Some of those fast food joints use computerized touchscreen registers. Many of those joints have no English speaking personnel.

When the register stops working, they call me. Common utterances of mine:

"What color is the flashing light?"

"Is it plugged in? No, to the outlet. Electricity. Yes."

"I can't understand you. Let's try something else. Read it to me one letter at a time. I have a pen ready."

"It's smiking? Did you spill any sodapop into the machine? Not on purpose, I understand. I'm not angry."

Denotsko said...

Yeah, I get the same kind of calls. Except the people that call me about unplugged machines are doctors with PHDs.

Haddock said...

The human race is run

On of my fist visits to Mcdonalds in Germany I ordered Coca Cola. The server had never heard of coca cola.....It took a few minutes foe him to realise that this is called COLA in Germany...it's hardly a synaptic leap of faith to work that out.

Odly enough the server didn't understand the word Fuckwit either!

Denotsko said...

It has been my experience that the German population is also not familiar with the term fucktard.

Homer Jay said...

sad. just, very sad.

parated2k said...

and the truly scary part?

They breed. ;~D

FuzzBuck Fuzz said...

Not doomed though. Far from it with blogs like this about.

Good work.